National Clothesline

I recently wrote an article for a construction association I represent about layoffs. It seemed the right thing to talk about during bad economic times.

Almost every member of the association I talk to says that things are bad, but each is waiting for the tide to turn.

Then again, I went to my local mall yesterday to buy my wife a new iPod. The parking lot was crowded, the mall was crowded, and the Apple store was mobbed to the point that I decided to order the device online.

I guess these people were unaware that economic times were bad, reading Entertainment Weekly instead of the Wall Street Journal.

I read both, so I know that new episodes of House are almost here, and Lehman Brothers is in serious trouble.

So, maybe an article on layoffs for National Clothesline is not going to be very interesting.

I also picked up my drycleaning yesterday, and Amy was smiling and appeared to be busy. No layoffs anticipated there in the coming months.

With layoffs off the table, I thought I might write a little more about what to expect from an Obama Admin-istration if he wins in November. But it looks like there is more of a horse race for the presidency, and it’s too early to count McCain out.

Besides, the two sides seem angrier than they were four years ago. I am absolutely positive that there are people who will explode if their candidates do not win.

On the legal front, I think that a McCain win will have no effect on the various labor and employment laws.

An Obama win will result in a complete rewrite of the laws concerning unionization.

But if an Obama win is not certain, why waste time speculating what effect his election will have on the workplace? And why risk angering readers by talking politics?

Also in the news we find global warming, the energy crisis, hurricane damage, and the Large Hadron Collider.

The collider is the most expensive scientific instrument ever invented, and it covers about 17 miles in Switzerland. It takes up so much energy that it cannot be run during the winter when that energy must be used to heat homes. A couple of scientists are afraid the collider will destroy the universe.

With layoffs, politics, global warming, and physics eliminated, I have decided to write about what matters to the average employer the most: productivity and profit.

Employers want employees who show up on time, work hard when they are there, and need minimal supervision.

Many employees, however, have trouble showing up to work at all, much less on time, and many employees literally do “the least they can do.” Those same employees, if not carefully supervised, make mistakes that could damage equipment, damage clothing you are being asked to clean, and cause customers to go elsewhere.

Employers should strive to hire the best employees they can and eliminate mediocre employees as soon as possible. Poor employees who are tolerated too long bring down overall productivity by making your better employees wonder why they need to work as hard as they do.

Employers all too frequently keep bad employees employed because:

• They hate the discomfort of firing employees;

• They think they need such employees to insure coverage;

• They just never notice how bad the employees are in the first place.

Managing workers requires constant review of the work they are doing and evaluation of their worth to the business.

While most of the readers of this column are too small to be subject to the Family and Medical Leave Act (50 employees), the experience of my clients under the FMLA is instructive. Under the FMLA, employers are required to grant 12 weeks of leave to employees for certain medical conditions or to take care of dependents.

Some employers find that while the employee is on FMLA leave, they do not need the employee in the first place.

Unfortunately, under the FMLA, if you discover during FMLA leave that the employee is worthless, you still have to reinstate the employee at the end of the leave. Really. It makes me wonder why the employer thought he needed that employee in the first place.

Whether economic times are good or bad, employers need to run as efficiently and as profitably as possible. That means figuring out who is making you money and who is costing you money. When you decide who is costing you money, you need to terminate that employee as quickly as possible.

I have written numerous columns on the right way to terminate employees. Be direct, be objective, and be thorough. Do not apologize to the employee for the decision. If anyone deserves an apology, it is you.

In conclusion, whether the Large Hadron Collider, global warming, and the economy are causing you concern, take a few minutes each day to look at your employees.

You might not be able to solve the credit crisis, prevent the polar ice caps from melting, or stop the politicians from ruining the country further. But you might be able to make your business more profitable. Think locally.