National Clothesline

I recently rode wit my 500th driver (unofficially) and decided that it was time to share with the drycleaning industry some numbers that may or may not be of good use to you.

We are in an industry that is all about numbers that reflect productivity and efficiency. Sure, these various pieces of data are very important in your calculations of profits and losses as well as measuring growth.

But do you really know what numbers you need to monitor with your drivers, their performance and your true understanding of the delivery service? Well, it is time for an article that equates to the TV show, “Magic’s Biggest Secrets Revealed.” However, you don’t need someone in a mask to expose the truth. Let me handle this department.

First of all: a disclaimer. The numbers are not intended to be used against any driver, salesperson, manager, or any other employee involved in the route process. However, it is time for the truth to be known.

If you are any of the forementioned parties, you will laugh, cry, hide or lie about what you are about to read, but deep down you will find yourself being included in one of the stats below.

If you are an owner, you will finally be able to measure your overall route operations and either accept what is in front of you, or do something about it. OK, with that being said, on with the stats that may end up costing someone a job, or me, further clients.

• Five out of 100 people will say that they love going door-to-door. However, out of the five, four are lying.

• Nine out of ten drivers say that they never see the customers. The funny thing is that they know everything about them.

• Eight out of ten drivers do not dress anywhere near as nice as they did when they applied and interviewed for the job. Why is that? Shouldn’t they represent drycleaning while on the route?

• One of three cleaners have or once had a route driver named Bob. Special thanks to Roger’s Cleaners in St. Petersburg, FL. All of their drivers are named Bob.

• Nineteen out of 20 salespeople fail because of lack of training. Other industries send their sales staff through weeks of training.

• Nine out of ten customers spend 20 to 25 percent more on the route than at the store. Yet, nine out of ten operators do not believe in converting at the store.

• One out of three route drivers think that they are about to get fired when I ride with them on a project. Many times they are nervous, a couple of times they have cried and one guy actually threw up.

• Two out of seven drivers have a bladder the size of a bowling ball.

• One out of 500 have actually hit a house. (You know who you are!)

• One out of five drivers need to take medication for road rage.

• Nine out of ten drivers talk to themselves. I never know if they are talking to me.

• Eight out of ten owners love their drivers. Yet, nine out of ten want them fired for not being able to sell.

• Male route drivers last longer than female drivers. The only reason to justify this answer is that most of them deliver in areas that are similar to the TV show Desperate Housewives.

• Seven out of ten vans have cracked windshields.

• One out of ten drivers are semi-retired. Half of them do not want the route to grow.

• Five out of eight drivers keep dog bones in their van. Two out of eight actually eat them for lunch.

• One out of 20 drivers actually smoke in the van. All of them are convinced that smoke doesn’t get on the clothes.

• One out of four drivers flirt with their customers. One-hundred percent of the customers flirt back only because they are hoping to get a discount.

• One-hundred percent of commissioned drivers love “Will Calls.”

• Eight out of ten owners are discouraged by direct mail marketing. Six out of ten still do it.

• Four-hundred niney-nine out of 500 drivers have misdelivered clothes.

• One out of five drivers have hit a mailbox while doing the route. Half of the time they tell nobody.

• Eight out of nine drivers get done at least one hour earlier when I ride with them on the route.

• Seven out of eight drivers know the names of the dogs they service on the route. One out of 20 drivers have actually hit a dog on the route; only one put the road-kill in a competitor’s bag.

• One out of three cleaner’s best customer is about to serve jail time for embezzlement.

• One out of five drivers use the manifest correctly. One out of five does not know what a manifest is.

• Two out of five drivers pick their nose on the route. No data on where they put it.

• Eight out of ten customers who call and say the driver missed the bag, actually missed the driver. See, I am protective of the driver.

• Seven out of ten operators do not have a back-up driver. Sad, but ever so true.

• Finally, nine out of ten routes do not see growth because drivers are not held accountable.

The most important stat is probably the last one. I continue to be amazed with projects in which the driver is in control and definitely the system. Routes done without a manifest, without accountability and without a strategic marketing plan cause limited to no growth. I preach about this article after article.

With all the negativity going around in this industry and people who are admitting defeat, make an effort to prove the cynical people wrong and build your business. Do it now and let the weak disappear. I truly believe that the more effort you put in to marketing your routes, the better off you will be.